Top Ten Most Absurd Things in Jail

And you thought your life was weird…

Wayne will be released from jail this week!

Join our Sunday ORA meeting to welcome him home and discuss how we can all prepare for the breaking new open rescue cases unfolding in Sonoma County. Learn more and register here today. (Message from Wayne’s team)

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1. We’re required to hang our plastic spoons in the cell door. 

   Apparently, many years ago, an inmate sharpened one into a knife.

2. Getting dentures to heal an infected wound.

   And anti-allergy medication. And a heating pack. Basically everything other than the antibiotics I needed.

3. Phone and visitation rooms so muted, we have to shout.

   It’s as if they intentionally lower the volumes to see how loud they can make us all scream.

4. “Emergency lockdowns” every day.

   We had one full week where all or part of the day was in lockdown, forcing all inmates to stay in our cells where we can’t shower, make calls, or step more than seven feet either way. We never get an explanation why.

5. An over-crowded jail — and an empty jail next door.

   There’s a newly-renovated jail structure that was shut down a few years ago. Millions were spent to build it. Now it’s growing weeds.

6. Arbitrary loss of privileges.
   We are supposed to get two tablets in each cell every other day for five hours.¹ This dropped to one inexplicably, forcing the inmates to fight. I’m also supposed to get vegan meals. Sometimes, they’re not vegan, and I don’t know why.

7. Watching what no one should watch.

   I poop three feet from another inmate’s face. I’m forced to stare at him, and him back at me, as the bowels move.

8. Mind-blowing legal errors.

   There’s the inmate who refused his plea — but still somehow ended up convicted without a trial. The inmate whose car was unconstitutionally searched without a warrant; the police put him in jail when they found his friend’s gun in a lockbox. And countless inmates who can’t get in touch with their lawyers at all, despite the supposed right to counsel. (This includes me. I wrote to the public defender’s office three weeks ago asking for help with sentencing, which happens tomorrow.² No one bothered to reply.)

9. The rebirth of Jim Crow.

   There’s a strict color line in jail, with dire consequences for those who disobey. It’s like a time warp to 1958.

10. Addressing “deviance” with disconnection.

    Connection is the one thing that everyone here needs, more than anything in the world. It’s a source of hope, of beauty, of love. And it’s the one thing that everyone here is denied.

1. (From Wayne’s team): Sonoma jail inmates receive limited access to iPad-like tablets to text the outside world. They are glitchy and difficult to use.

2. (From Wayne’s team): This “Top Ten” blog was written before Wayne’s November 30th sentencing hearing.